It is that time of year when we are introduced to a bunch of women vying for the attention of one man. The Bachelor is back. Are we all ready to get our judgy hats?? I mean Ben is practically our best friend and we are only looking out for his best interests.
Here are our first impressions of the women as they exit the limo and give us a little insight into their lives!!
Lauren B- I’m sure she is always on the beach like that. Her friends look like they want to kill her and wear her skin so they can meet Ben. Not much going on with this one.
Caila- Jaysus, did she dump her boyfriend for Ben? Is that allowed? This one screams commitment issues. Imagine that convo ‘I seen Ben on T.V and now I want his D, you can watch me chase it down in January’
Jubilee- This girl has trained to beat these bitches for the win. Shall we wait for the ‘Are you into black girls convo?’ Hopefully it will go down better than that pick up line.
Mandi- I embrace the weird equals I’m a beast in the sack. That mixed with her torturing skills as a dentist, this girl is going to destroy this poor chap.
Emily and Haley- The twins have definitely shared a man, if you know what I mean. They have a sister wives concept!! No doubt they will wear matching outfits and giggle until Ben busts his nut.
Amanda- Bets on whether Amanda will whip out a drawing from her kids to Ben. She will milk the shit out of those kids so she stays as long as possible.
Tiara- She has a framed photograph of Ben already. This girl is bat shit crazy, how do they find these people? All those chickens, you know I am just conjuring up a ‘good with cocks’ joke.
Sam- That awkward moment when they talk about their dead dad but also show off their sickening beach body. Will she mention it when they first meet? Probably!!
Jennifer- I like this one, she seems normal! That probably means she won’t get very far. Normalcy is a bullet to the head.
Jami- She says she knows Caitlyn and we all know Caitlyn spilled the deets on that cock!! Don’t try and backtrack Jami.
Lace- She got that kiss and was ready to bolt to the house to spill. Fame hungry! You can tell she is good friends with alcohol!! Trouble ahead.
Lauren R- Hmm, all that drunk talk and she never even said her name. Plus who admits to social media stalking!! Bye Lauren R.
Shushanna- Is she literally unable to speak English? yes that makes sense.
Leah- Good work, pretend you play ball and eloquently bend over so he gets a good look. I like this one.
Joelle- Yes Joelle, walking to him blinded by a unicorn mask makes perfect sense.
Laura- Red Velvet, smooth Laura! Real smooth!! Plus she has the unfortunate luck of wearing the same dress as somebody else. More smooth lines are needed Laura, PRONTO!!
Maegan- I like Maegan’s entrance. Plus she can blame the pony when it shits on everyone. This is a girl who knows how to play.
Jessica- Good head turn Jessica as you left for the house!! Whip that hair!!
Izzy- Izzy knew she was going to be hanging around alot tonight. Might aswell be comfy in her onsie. Smart cookie.
Rachel- Who wanted her to fall? Who??? Not much else to report on this one.
Breanne- Breanne is that bitchy neighbour who brings round food just to judge the junk you already have in your fridge.
Olivia- Ben totally wants a bit of the Olivia, he made much more of an effort with her. And I am not hating her.
LB– I hate her voice!! Remove her soon! She looks like Farrah Abraham which isn’t good. PLASTIC!
Jackie– She looks so happy to be there!! I wonder will she hashtag the first time they ride too. #BenpoundsJackie